Train to “Smile, Bitch” to Humor Street Harassers!

by | August 15, 2014
filed under FFFF

Friday Feminist Funny Film logo

Stand-up comedian Janelle James’ new video advertises training to help ladies to learn to smile non-stop so guys on the street never have to have their day ruined! For more on the creation of the video, check out this interview with James at Think Progress.

Warning, NSFW language.

Transcript (h/t Feministe):

Standard shot over the heads of a fast-moving crowd on a New York sidewalk.

FEMALE VO. The demands of life in New York City making it difficult to smile all day, every day, like a lady should?

We follow a woman with a backpack as she walks down the street past a series of men.

MAN 1. Damn, girl, let’s see that smile. It’s a beautiful day for you to be making that face. … Oh, you just gonna frown away?

MAN 2. Hey, you better smile, bookbag.

MAN 3. Hey, hey. Why you don’t smile, bitch?

Accompanied by a SFX chime, the Smile Bitch Training Camp appears onscreen.

MAN 3. Smile!

A series of women in a training gym offer stiff, uncomfortable smile-grimaces to the camera.

FEMALE VO. Well, now, at the Smile Bitch Training Camp, we ensure that you smile like a lunatic at all times!

Pan down a row of women clutching pencils between their teeth to force a smile, doing sit-ups with pencils in their teeth, and keeping a smile in the face of unwelcome attention from men.

By the time it’s over, you’ll be able to smile through any horrible circumstance the world throws at you. Through a system of physical and psychological torture, we’ll make sure that you never wipe that smile off your face.

A man on the street pulls a woman’s cheeks into a smile.

Maybe your dog died.

A student turns to the camera and grins, accompanied by a chime.


She skips down the street with him.

Lost your job?

Another grin from another student, with chime.


The screen flashes static for a moment before shifting to a black-and-white shot of a woman who is decidedly not smiling.

WOMAN. Maybe it’s your fucking face and you don’t feel like smiling.

The screen statics back to the smiling face of a student.

FEMALE VO. Anyway.

WOMAN 2. Thanks to the Smile Bitch Training Camp, guys never have to have their day ruined by seeing my unhappy face.

She grins with a chime. Another woman smiles with a man outside.

WOMAN 3. It’s great! Come here!

Big hug. Then cut to a slow-mo shot of smiling SBTC students walking down the sidewalk.

FEMALE VO. The Smile Bitch Training Camp. ‘Cause you’re a lady.

Mr. Smile Bitch jumps into the frame to deliver one final instruction to the camera.

MAN 3. Why don’t you smile, bitch?