h/t to Feministing for sharing the video and reminding us how spot-on this in, especially given the GOP is really offering lessons on speaking to women voters.
Transcript (after the jump):
Voice-Over (man): Congratulations! You’re running for office as a member of the Grand Old Party! Did you know that the 19th Amendment guarantees women the right to vote? And sometimes, they even try to run for office. Fancy that! But don’t worry, the GOP is here to help you! Can you spot what our friend Todd does wrong?
Todd Akin: From what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, uh, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.
VO: No, it’s not that he tried to explain science to their female lady-brains. Keep watching old Dick here.
Richard Mourdock: Even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is, uh, something that God intended to happen.
VO: Didn’t catch it? When talking about taking away a woman’s right to choose, don’t say “rape”. Try using a more pleasant euphemism, like “method of conception.” Watch how Paul does it.
Interviewer to Paul Ryan: Want to know exactly where you stand, specifically when it comes to rape, and, and when it comes to the issue of should it be legal for a woman to be able to get an abortion if she’s raped.
Paul Ryan: Well I’m very proud of my pro-life record, and, um, I’ve always adopted the idea, the position, that the method of conception doesn’t change the definition of life.
VO: Forced ultrasounds? That sounds scary! So reassure women that it’s not that bad.
Scott Walker: I’ve said, you know, to me, uh, I don’t have a problem with ultrasounds.
Reporter to Tom Corbett: Making them watch, and uh, seeing, did that go too far?
Tom Corbett: Uh, I don’t know how you’d make anybody watch. Okay?…’cause you just have to close your eyes.
VO: And women love a good sense of humor. Try a joke.
Chris Christie: You know, something may go down tonight, but it ain’t gonna be jobs, sweetheart.
Interviewer to Scott Brown: Have you officially responded to Elizabeth Warren’s comment about how she didn’t take her clothes off?
Scott Brown: Thank God!
VO: And if worse comes to worst, just lie!
Interviewer to Paul Ryan: You voted against that act, didn’t you?
Paul Ryan: Right, yes, and so you know, Lily Ledbetter was not an equal pay law.
VO: So remember, you don’t need to change your conservative views just because women voters find them horribly offensive. Just change how you talk about them! Now go out there and get those dame votes!