FFFF: My Self-Esteem’s Not Low Enough to Date You

Garfunkel and Oates (aka Kate Micucci and Riki Lindhome) sing about women’s self-esteem.

Full lyrics: (after the jump)

You text at 3 in the morning
And you misspell my name
You slept with half my friends on Facebook
And most of them think you are lame

You say that with me, it’s different
And you’re not that big of a dick
And if you disappear, it’s ’cause you’re busy
Not ’cause you’re with some chick

I know this might be uncouth
But I decided to tell you the truth:

My self esteem’s not low enough to date you
It’s close, but not quite there
Give me time to get a little more desperate
And you and I could make an awesome pair
A totally awesome pair

I seem like your perfect target
Like I’ve been lonely for too long
You think that I haven’t had sex in forever
And I’ll admit that you’re not wrong

But I would rather have no one
Than this crap, let me reaffirm
I wouldn’t touch your dick if I’d been poisoned
And the antidote was in your sperm

I know this might be uncouth
But I decided to tell you the truth

My self esteem’s not low enough to date you
It’s close, but not quite there
Give me time to get a little bit more wasted
And you and I could make an awesome pair
A totally awesome pair