All right. Since the first edition was so popular, here’s take two of Sh*t My Roommate Says:
Roommate: That guy on The Bachelor looks like that guy who was on The Apprentice…the politician.
Me: Which one?
Roommate: The one who was the Governor of Illinois? Roblow LeTacovich?
Roommate: Dennis Hopper died.
Me: I know! Sad!
Roommate: I don’t actually know who he is.
Me: Yeah, me neither.
Me: That wasn’t very coherent.
Friend: I don’t promise coherency.
Friend: That’s so cool that you’re a twin. What kind are you?
Friend #2: What do you mean?
Friend: You know. Fraternal, or what’s the other kind…paternal?
Roommate: I can’t read this box of tea. It’s like in Indian or something.
Me: Um, that’s French…and there’s English on the other side.