motherhood

Vintage Pregnancy Advice from the Canadian Government

canmotherby Jarrah Hodge

Thrift shopping with my mom and boyfriend in North Vancouver the other day I came across a real gem: a 1947 printing of the Canadian government’s handbook The Canadian Mother and Child, by Ernest Couture, M.D., Director of the Division of Child and Maternal Health.

A little context: this is the 7th printing of the 1st edition of the handbook, and it was a really popular guide that ended up being published and distributed every year for over 30 years. An article from Canadian Encyclopedia describes how important this book and other similar guides were to women in the 1940s:

In the 1940s, child-rearing was done, literally, by the book. Janet Berton vividly remembers the one she used -Canadian Mother and Child, a brochure from the federal health department that her doctor gave her when her first child, Penny, was born in 1948. “It had wonderful pictures of old, old, old-fashioned babies and nurses in black and white,” says Berton, who with her husband, author Pierre Berton, raised a family of eight children. “But it was pretty authoritarian. You had to do exactly what it said.” Berton says she tried to follow the rules for feeding an infant on a strict timetable, every four hours, and soon wound up “in a panic” because the baby did not seem to be getting enough milk.

I had an interesting time reading the guide and learning what women like my grandmother would have been advised to do when they were pregnant in that era, and thought I’d share some of the more interesting and maybe surprising lessons with you.

"While Awaiting a Baby", photo from Library & Archives Canada

“While Awaiting a Baby”, photo from Library & Archives Canada

On the Joy of Motherhood

“The birth of a baby is the most glorious achievement in the life of a woman, for, in becoming a mother, she completely fulfils the special purpose of her life as a woman.” (p. 3)

“There is nothing more fascinating for a mother than to read about the care of a baby.” (p. 84)

“The very presence of your baby, and your feeling of love for it, should prove more eloquent than any words to persuade you to breast-feed your infant, if you are able to do so.” (p. 108)

“When you bend affectionately over your growing infant, does not the contented joy of your heart tell you powerfully that you are gazing on the most precious of all your possessions? As the infant lies, charming but helpless, and dependent on you for everything, you feel that it was fully worth those special pains on your part to give it proper nourishment, to provide the benefit of fresh air and sunshine, the comfort of cleanliness and appropriate clothes, to guard it against digestive troubles, infections and contagious diseases and accidents, and also to direct with love the first manifestations of a budding character.” (p. 203)

On Lady-Parts

“Special local examination. On no account should you let false modesty influence you in the matter of this local examination. Unfortunately this is often the case, particularly with mothers expecting their first baby. You would not forgive yourself if, through neglect of this very important examination, some mishap occurred.” (p. 7)

“For local hygiene use a mild soap, or a mild antiseptic solution recommended by your doctor or a solution of baking soda or boracic acid (1 dessert spoonful to a quart of warm water). Make sure to dry the parts thoroughly.” (p. 40)

“In a married woman, the missing of a period is usually due to pregnancy.” (p. 11)

On Leisure Time

“There is, of course, no harm in playing bridge. Indeed it is a wholesome way of relaxing, if not abused, but it is fatiguing if indulged in too frequently or for lengthy sessions.” (p. 21) Read more

Posted on by jarrahpenguin in Can-Con, Feminism 2 Comments

My Reality: How to Become an Orphan

Child's_drawingby Roxanna Bennett

[Trigger Warning for discussions of child rape and molestation]

I divorced my entire family in 2005 and it was the healthiest action I’ve ever taken for myself.

In 2004, I started getting panic attacks every time the phone rang. I had never had them before so at first I was convinced I was dying, that I was having a heart attack or something was wrong with my brain. I broke out in hives a lot. Had nightmares. Found myself spending entire days in bed, just staring at the ceiling, unable to play with my son. Sometimes making his dinner and staring slack-jawed at the television was a challenge. I’m not sure when I made the connection between what was happening in my family and what was happening with me but when I came to the realization that they were the source of my pain, I had no choice. It was them or me. My son or my mother. I chose my ability to function as a healthy parent over the feelings of my family and this is why.

I was raped by my uncle, my mother’s brother, when I was four years old. My mother is an identical twin, her sister was like a second mother to me. My biological mother was distant, anxious, sometimes cold. Her sister, my aunt, was more outgoing, warmer. My mother moved out of the province when I was 18 and it was my aunt who was my source of support during my early adulthood. She nursed me when I was sick, let me sleep on her couch when I had nowhere to go. She stayed with my son every night for a year while I put myself through night school. We were very close.

My uncle, who had damaged me beyond measure when I was a child, had been living in British Columbia for years when I made the decision to orphan myself. And this is why, and it sounds small to say it but it wasn’t, it was because of a family vacation. Read more

Posted on by jarrahpenguin in My Reality 19 Comments

Fifty Shades of Blaaahhhhhhh

by Alicia Costa

“I don’t get what all the fuss is about. Danielle Steel has been writing ‘mommy porn’ since the 80s,” a work out buddy of mine said jokingly as we chatted about the recent popularity of E L James’ book Fifty Shades of Grey. Truthfully I had been avoiding this book, as a bit of literary snob I tend to try and avoid best-seller fiction. And as someone who has enjoyed her fair share of…erm…erotic fiction I didn’t think something dubbed ‘mommy porn’ would really be something I’d be into.

However, as I did more research and say more and more article with titles like, “Women are going crazy for Fifty Shades of Grey and it’s making men nervous” I was intrigued. What is about this book that is sending men into a panic? Could it be the realization that their wives and girlfriends are sexual beings as well as wives and mothers? Are they scared women are going to throw down their aprons and refuse to cook another meal until they get some satisfying sex? Is it possible that women are actually interested in bondage and spanking?

Read more

Posted on by jarrahpenguin in Feminism, Pop Culture 1 Comment

Things My Mother Taught Me

by Jarrah Hodge

  • How to do stage makeup
  • How to pick stinging nettles
  • That it’s important to take care of yourself
  • How to make Ukrainian Easter Eggs
  • That we are all inextricably connected to the Earth and it is important to protect her
  • The difference between banana slugs and garden slugs
  • That embarrassing childhood pictures are fair-game for showing to your adult friends
  • That religion doesn’t have to be oppressive
  • To have the patience it takes to find great things in a thrift store
  • That having someone who is always there to listen when you’re having a bad day or a bad week or a bad month is priceless.

Happy Mother’s Day to my mom, Eve, and everyone else engaged in mothering.

 

Posted on by jarrahpenguin in Feminism Leave a comment

The Two Faces of Time: Answering “Are You Mom Enough?”

Mom Enough CoverJessica Mason McFadden writes, studies and mothers in Western Illinois, where she lives with her wife and daughters. Jess graduated from Western Illinois University in 2006 with a B.A. in English. She will be pursuing a graduate education in English next fall. Jess identifies as a queer feminist and manages a wrecking blog at masonismymiddlename. blogspot.com.

Visceral reactions are where it’s at when it comes to Time Magazine’s cover story, “Are You Mom Enough?” While the topic of attachment parenting is relevant and in need of intelligent discourse, it’s the cover that’s making headlines. It isn’t the issue of attachment parenting that concerns the majority, it’s the gut reaction it produces in them. Does a provocative image have the power to educate? Does it create a space in which learning might occur or does it close the space entirely? These are the questions raised by this kind of moment of mass hysteria. Since the provocative image in the issue of Time most certainly elicits a response that speaks to feminism, it is important that feminists use this as an opportunity to contribute to, and thus shape, the conversation. Read more

Posted on by jarrahpenguin in Feminism, Pop Culture 4 Comments

I Don’t Eat Babies for Breakfast

Hansel and Gretel 1911 DrawingGender Focus welcomes guest contributor Ashli Scale. Ashli is a Bachelor of Social Work student in Ottawa, Ontario.  Her professional focus is violence against women, women’s reproductive rights and youth homelessness.  In her free time she works towards building awareness of the stigma and resistance childfree women experience. 

Feminist discourse on reproductive rights focuses on women’s right to choose, whether that choice be parenting, adoption or abortion.  But, what about women who choose NOT to have children?

( public domain image via Wikimedia Commons)

I am one of those women and wow, people can be frosty about my decision.  Deciding to be childfree is not the same as being infertile because it’s a conscious choice not to procreate (Maher & Saugeres, 2007).  Personally, I deliberated for several years before making this decision.

And I’m not the only one.  Studies on childfree couples show that this decision is made after a lengthy, serious decision-making process (Kelly, 2009).  Yet the responses I most commonly get are “Are you sure?” and “You’ll change your mind”.   I am met with disbelief, criticism and perceived regret.  You may not realize it, but responding in such a way is not “harmless” – it is patronizing and infantilizing (Kelly, 2009).

Stigma and stereotypes about childfree couples are surprisingly common.  I have been called selfish, callous and cold for my choice (because of course, no one has ever known a selfish, callous or cold mother, right Freud?).  People often ask “Why do you hate children?” and look at me like I’m the witch straight out of Hansel & Gretel.  The truth is, I love children – other people’s children! Read more

Posted on by jarrahpenguin in Feminism 6 Comments