askmen

What Do You Get When You Put Fox News and AskMen Together?

by Roxanna Bennett

The Fox News website reposted an article from AskMen in their Health section titled “5 Feminist Demands She Wants You to Ignore.” Generally articles filed under health are about improving one’s diet and preventing heart disease, not perpetuating heteronormative gender myths.

It’s astounding how many put-downs and insults can be crammed into one five point post.

Here are the five “myths” followed by opinions feminists would very much like AskMen to be aware of.

1. “I can carry my own bag.”

AskMen tells us that the only way a woman can perform general household maintenance is by hiring someone else to do the job. They use the phrase “your girl” several times, as though your partner is a possession much like your shoes or your car.  Apparently only the “right” girl (whatever that means) will inspire basic courtesy in a man, including carrying heavy bags. Truly, women really want men to fetch, carry and fix. All women are LYING when they say they are capable of doing something by themselves but never, ever suggest to them that they can’t. We all know how helpless they are, but they turn into bitches when called on it.

2. “Don’t objectify me.”

According to this “myth”, women are LIARS when they say they aren’t impressed by compliments about their appearance. Because every woman likes to hear the words “I’d tap that” or “I’d hit that” in appreciation of their appearance. Who doesn’t love threats of physical violence that are meant to indicate how fuckable a man thinks a woman looks? Women are LIARS because if they weren’t secretly so desperate to be objectified the fashion and beauty industries would implode overnight. The number one priority of all women is increasing their fuckability quotient; if not to please men then at least for the sake of the economy.

 3. “I’ll pay my share.”

Funny, I’ve only ever heard those words from men who then failed to do exactly that. Your girl, you know, the one you own like shoes or a pet or a bong, earns enough money to chip in once in a while but you should still pay for her. Apparently your woman earns $55 000 a year, almost 70% of your salary. So sometimes you should pay for her but sometimes not. She doesn’t really want to fork over any cash but seeing as how she makes so much money now that she’s emancipated it’s only fair to split the tab. Why should you be the only one tossing around Benjamins? But only pay her way if you know for sure she’ll pick up the tab at some unspecified, undetermined time of your choosing. If she doesn’t at least reach for her wallet half the time a cheque appears, don’t waste money on her, you playa, you. But you should definitely, sometimes, treat your girl. Like when you buy your dog a new bone. Read more

Posted on by Roxanna Bennett in Feminism Leave a comment