FFFF: Things Straight Guys Say to Lesbians

by | May 16, 2014
filed under FFFF, LGBT

Davey Wavey got together a group of familiar lesbian YouTubers to list a bunch of the inappropriate things straight guys say to lesbians, in the same vein as previous videos like “Sh*t White Girls Say…to Black Girls”.

Warning: some NSFW language, swear words are bleeped.

Transcript (after the jump):

(Note: because the dialogue jumps back and forth so quickly I’m just going to divide it into sort of themes, with slashes [“/”] in between speakers rather than new lines.)

Speakers: Oh, you’re a lesbian!/Cool./That’s kind of hot./Right on./You heard her? She likes me. She’s gonna come to my hotel room at night.

(title slide: What Guys Say to Lesbians)

Oh you’re a lesbian?/Oh, I’m a lesbian too!/I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body.

Which one of you does the dishes?

Oh cool, I love Ellen!/Do you know Ellen?/No, you know Wanda Sykes!/Are you Ellen?/Oh, so you gay like that Juno bitch?/Are you neighbours to Ellen?/So the Lindsay Lohan kind of lesbian, or like…

(speakers make v-symbol with hand and tongue to represent cunnilingus)

Bet your girlfriend doesn’t have these (pointing to bicep)/I’d be down to watch if you’re, like, cool/Can I watch?/Can I watch y’all?/You need a chaperone?/$25, can I watch?/Cameraman?/Would that be cool? Is that, like, weird?/You know what? Me and you should kiss right now?/You haven’t seen my pee-pee/’Cause…with my lips looks just like a pussy. It’s not like you ain’t used to it.

So what’s your deal with men? What man hurt you?/Hey, hold my juice. I can’t be around  no man-hater right now./Man-haters.

So how does that, does it…do you…/Do you, like…/Scissor and shit?/How does scissoring work?/So how does scissoring work?

Right, but have you been with guys before?/You haven’t had sex with me./What’s __ for plastic (not sure what is being said here)/I’m right here, it’s real. It’s not 69-85. Free./Tonight’s your lucky night, sweetheart!/No shipping and handling./You know a cocker spaniel?/Why don’t you just want to, like, f**k me though?/I’d put my cock in your spaniel, heh.

I’m totally fine with gay people, as long as they’re women./They’re f**ckin’ hot but two guys? That shit’s disgusting.

I love me some lesbian porn. I watch that stuff every weekend.

You don’t have to be a lesbian; we would totally find you attractive./You’re too/pretty/to be a lesbian./You is way too fine to be no lesbian./Do you have a straight twin or something?

Listen partner, I see you got eyeballs with my girl. (?)/You think you can compete with me? All right, it is on./Get her away from me. I seen her looking at my girl!

Can you let me cum on you? Please?

Get off me, man.