FFFF: Juicefast Girl Loses It

by | January 31, 2014
filed under FFFF

Friday Feminist Funny Film logoAri and Emma (Ariana Seigel and Emma Tattenbaum-Fine) tell a comic horror story about juicefasting in this sketch at Comediva.

Transcript (after the jump):Theme Song: Ari and Emma. Emma and Ari. This is our theme song. And now it’s done.

Ari: Hello! Welcome to day 2 of my juice fast. I’m really excited that you guys are going to be joining me on my journey, and thanks for tuning in. This is my first juice of the day. It’s my breakfast juice; I just made it. You can see it. It’s good! It’s chunky. I can really taste, like, the kale and the micro greens. I feel pretty good. My neck is incredibly sore. Yeah, right there, that is really painful. But I’m pretty sure that’s a good sign because that just means the toxins are exiting my body. So I will see you guys tomorrow, bye!

(Day 3, evening)

Ari: Welcome to day three of my juice fast. I woke up with a ton of energy. I just got back from a zumba class and a spinning class, which I never do. The only weird thing that is happening is that there’s like a weird growth coming out of my arm. I think it’s like a finger. It looks like a finger. I went to WebMD last night and I’m not worried. I think it’s a good thing; it just means that, like, my skin cells are regenerating, just, like, making more to produce in my body. I think it’s a good sign. I’m pretty pumped and I can’t wait to keep you guys posted tomorrow.

(Day 4)

Ari: Day four. I haven’t let the house in, I don’t know, a while. So I’m running out of produce. So I think I’m just going to juice this maize. So I’m going to go do that.
(Day 5)
Ari: Juice! (laughs uncontrollably)
(Day 6 – we see Ari slumped over the table, trying to inject juice into her arm but falling asleep)
(Day 7)
Ari: There’s a rat, a giant rat in my apartment and it keeps stealing my juicer and hiding it around the apartment. Rat! Give me back my juicer! Why are you so big?
(Day 8 – Ari is trying to juice a teddy bear, she yells)
(Day 9)
Ari: Day number…it’s number…I don’t have any more money, so I could sell the juicer but then I can’t juice. You can’t eat them because if you don’t drink them you can’t get…their power. I love you (to the juicer).
(Day 10 – Ari is trying to squish a potato with her hand and fit it in a glass)
Ari: Drinking time.
Rat: Okay, you gotta end this. Honey, you gotta end this. No, no. You can’t have this. This we can’t have. I did a raw greens juice fast once.
Ari: No you didn’t! You’re a rat!
Rat: I did, I did. And it was terrible. I would suggest that you eat three squares a day, and that you graze. Then you’re good to go. And have some cheese!
Ari: No! I can’t have it!
Rat: Yeah, it’s so good. There you go! I’ll have the other side so you don’t have to eat all by yourself.

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